In a controversial move, all pro- Trump supporters attending future Trump rallies will receive a literal “get out of jail free” card, courtesy of Donald Trump himself. The laminated, business-sized card will include the names and phone numbers of local attorneys and bail bondsman who are on retainer to help those enthusiastic Trump voters who may feel the need to take a swipe at those who they feel are disrespectful of the Donald.
“This is a huge boost to the Criminal Defense bar,” said Attorney Adrianne Barsky-Smith, president of the American Bar Association. “ At the rate that things are going, they won’t have to deal with any more drunk drivers or petty criminal stuff. The crazy in Mr. Trump’s followers seems to run as deep as his pockets.”
Mr. Trump’s card is in direct response to his offer to pay the legal bills of one of his supporters who “sucker punched” a protester as the protester was escorted from a rally by police. As much as Trump has said that he doesn’t condone violence and that his some of his fans “just get carried away,” it cannot be questioned that Trump has been sited as responsible for much of the inflammatory rhetoric that has driven the presidential primary season.
Gerald Brown, spokesperson for the National Lawyers Guild has a different take on the situation. “The Guild has long helped protesters know their rights when dealing with the police and has a long history of providing legal help to those who are legally exercising their first amendment rights. We are the ones who invented ‘the legal counsel phone number in Sharpie on the arm’ technique used to this day. But the idea of handing out fancy cards for free legal services at events that are supposed to be peaceful seems a bit over the top, a bit premeditated, a bit like asking for it.
“In the case of many of Mr. Trump’s supporters, it seems like he is throwing a pile of raw meat to a bunch of rabid dogs.”
Spike II, spokesdog for the American Rabid Dog Association could not be reached for comment, but it is believed that the association is considering a suit against the National Lawyers Guild for besmirching the group’s character by comparing them to Trump supporters.
