After a disappointing 2% of the votes in the New Hampshire Primary, Republican hopeful Ben Carson attempted to take his own life early Wednesday morning.
His campaign manager, Barry Bennett, found Carson in his hotel bathroom and rushed him to the emergency room. Carson is in stable condition and awake, according to sources.
Carson allegedly took over 50 pills of Valium and chugged as much vodka as he could before passing out in his bathroom tub.
Earlier in the evening, Carson and his closest team members were discussing strategy for South Carolina and Nevada. An anonymous member of Carson’s inner circle said the presidential hopeful was was quieter than usual that night and only had one eye open for the extent of the meeting. At midnight, they each retreated to their respective hotel rooms.
Campaign Manager Bennett called Carson at 12:45 am to discuss a new strategy, but no one picked up, which is highly unlike Carson. When Bennett went to Carson’s room to discuss the idea in person, he found the door ajar and the presidential hopeful unconscious.
At the hospital, Carson’s stomach was pumped to extract the left over alcohol and Valium. He was also injected with an anti-benzopine serum to counter the painkiller’s effect and put on an intravenous drip of electrolytes and potassium.
Carson, through his manager, told reporters, “The Republicans were being mean to me and playing unfunny jokes. They are big bullies.”
After placing 4th in the Iowa caucus, Carson needed to fly home to Florida to process his defeat. Those close to him said he doesn’t take failure lightly With only 2% in the New Hampshire primary, finishing 8th, his friends were deeply concerned about his mental health even then.
Carson will be monitored and is expected to make a full recovery. Ted Cruz said, “We all saw that coming. Politics isn’t for him.”
Zombie Campaign
Due to Carson’s dismal New Hampshire showing, his campaign is being labeled a ‘zombie campaign’ by political insiders. A zombie campaign is declared when a political hopeful is still running, yet everyone knows his or her campaign is dead. Carson can relate.
“I love eating brains,” said Carson. “That’s why I wanted to become a neurosurgeon.”
Carson seems to be realistic about his political standing.
“Let’s be honest, I’ve pretty much been a zombie since Iowa. Some people say even before then,” said Carson. “That part I could handle just fine, but the meanness was uncalled for. What did I ever do to any of them?”
