Chipotle Selling $1 Burritos This Week To Regain Public Trust

Ken Wolter / Shutterstock.com
Ken Wolter / Shutterstock.com

“Come by your local Chipotle this week and order any burrito for a dollar. As many as you can eat and we guarantee not one person will get sick,” Chipotle’s CEO and founder Steve Ells told Bloomberg Business News.

The dollar burrito campaign runs from Jan 18th to the 24th. #ChipotleBurritoWeek

In the unprecedented move by a fast food restaurant, Chipotle wants to return to consumers main staple place to eat out after a few bad months of health safety concerns. An e-Coli outbreak closed dozens of stores in the Northwest and a norovirus contraction closed a busy store in Boston.

Hundreds were sickened over this time, but no one died. Store revenues have dropped as much as 30% during this time period and the stock price is around $450 a share from a high of $800 in July. Lawsuits are now in the works over potentially misleading the shareholders.

Analysts commend the incredible value offer for $1 burritos. Ted Olson, an analyst at Luck Stocks, said, “While they’ll lose a little money for a week, it could be the jump-start needed to get back on track the quickest way possible. It will get casual and heavy consumes back through the doors instantly instead of slowly waiting over the next three, four months to regain their trust.

“Basically, Chipotle is buying your trust back with the dollar a burrito price point.”

Fans are also happy about the free guacamole that will be included in the $1 burrito week.

Susan Lilly, from Chicago, told the Chicago Tribune, “I’m super excited for the free guacamole! The dollar burritos are also awesome of course, but the free guac won back my heart, Chipotle.”

It looks like selling burritos at regular price and just losing the extra money from guacamole could have had the same effect, but we’ll never know.

Stock traders are anxiously waiting to see if the volume of burritos sold next week will indicate the publics trust being won over. The general feeling is that the strategy will work. “If Jack in the Box can come back from a sickness scandal in the nineties when people actually died, Chipotle should be able to bounce back to normal sales after the dollar burrito week,” said Olson. “This will eliminate any competitors from gaining any more market share and has the potential to gain even more consumers from McDonald and Burger King with the dollar price tag.”

The final question is ‘when will Chipotle begin selling nachos?’

  • Matthew Steven

    Is this at every Chipotle?

    • Anthony Rodriguez

      yeah it starts tomorrow

      • stephanie

        It says the 11th?

        • JfrmTheBay

          Well done.

      • Manuel Gomez

        Guys I work at chipotle and it’s fake. You been played.

    • Abigail Jun

      it’s fake

    • Tim

      This is satire you morons! How stupid can you possibly be? You notice that it’s the SATIRE TRIBUNE?

      • Matthew Steven

        No called Chipotle. It’s real. 11-17th

      • David Teeghman

        But satire is supposed to be funny and clever. This is just untrue. It looks likes Satira Tribune is the latest “satire” site that just publishes shit that is neither true nor funny and calls it “satire.”

      • AC Stuart

        No, if it was satire the joke would be evident in the headline. This is clickbait, manipulative bullshit and this entire site should be illegal for spreading misinformation intentionally.

        All you have to do is read the comment section on any article where people are arguing over whether or not it’s real. That doesn’t happen on The Onion, that doesn’t happen on The Borowitz Report. Those are ACTUAL SATIRE, this is garbage.

  • AC Stuart

    Your website is actual garbage. You’re not making jokes, you’re just crafting deceitful headlines to generate ignorant clicks. Are you proud of this? You might as well be The Chive and just post a bunch of girls tugging on their underwear. At least there’s no deceit in that.

    This isn’t what you wanted to do with your life, Johnny. Go start submitting to real websites and try to get a job that isn’t as soul-crushing as this one must be.

    • Peter Parker

      You’re just bitter that you and your basic bitch gf have to pay $9 for burritos. This is satire. Anyone who believes it is not reading between the lines (or the site’s name).

      • AC Stuart

        Nah dude. Onion is Satire. This is clickbait with no substance, and the lack of substance is the problem. I mean, I know this, I make clickbait for a living too, but I do my best to make stuff that is actual entertainment, and not sheer manipulative bullshit.

        I think the author knows what he was doing, and he can’t be proud of it.

      • LesSavvy

        It’s an attempt at satire that misses the target. Fail.

    • Look at the fucking web site’s name you dolt.

  • IBangWSHHoneys

    ill stick my dick in a burrito so you can suck it

  • Oscar

    Weak attempt.

  • Hojo

    Not sure if they were trying to be funny or clever with this article but it’s pretty bland for a “satire” article… I guess it’s like a “funny suggestion” on something they’d like to see Chipotle do? It’s very hard to tell. Not to mention all the grammar errors and awkward sentence structure.

  • J17

    You have no right to use the word satire.Satire is a literacy term.It means the use of humor,irony exaggeration to expose or comment on peoples stupidity or faults in relation to politics,religion etc.I recognize satire when I see it.Duck Soup is a satire .How do I know this and i’m only 17 yet adults much older than me cant.I agree with the guy before me this site is no different then The Chive.

  • KChambers

    trying to give burritos away and then gonna closed ALL stores on the 8th!!! So, if we die they’re not liable????

  • Hvacrpro

    We just went to the Chipotle in Layton, Utah, the portion was undersized, with the meat, then after saying to add more meat to correct the size, they added double and charged double, then did the same when undersizing the cheese portion. the server just smirked to the other co worker, then when complained to the manager, she just said sarcastically i know, i just seen, and thanks for your managerial skills. all white employees, and indifferent, serving mexican food. go figure.

    • Meta

      This doesn’t happen. They literally can’t do this so I’m sure you’re just one of many customers who comes in and doesn’t realize what a dick they are when they try to get us to go above the maximum scoop of ingredients and then complain about having to pay for it when they literally have twice as much meat as everyone else in line.

      • Hvacrpro

        Funny thing is , the manager was notified about it, and she said she saw the exchange… still wondering why she didn’t do anything about it, when she saw the Server short change the customer who paid for two full scoops , asked for a single serving, got short changed once on the first , and twice on the second serving having to pay for two , when only received one and a half. Everyone must be a dick who gets in front of this server, and , this happens so often… one can google this place, and see most of the customers are dicks… because of their reviews, and complaints they are all automatically dicks. so much for asking someone for the service, and food they bought or paid for. One just might be a dick at Chipotles… minus the ecoli trust issue… of course they must be dicks too. Everyone at Chipotle who is a customer who asks for their order is a Dick. Good thing we dont think everyone else is a Cunt.