Jimmy Carter Thanks Medical Marijuana For Curing His Cancer

shutterstock_40672264In a surprising announcement today, former democratic President Jimmy Carter said he was cancer free. He thanked doctors and family for their support and then said medical marijuana had cured his cancer in only 5 months.

Carter would smoke a joint in the morning, smoke a joint at night, smoke a joint in the afternoon to make him feel alright. The former President tried out several different strains of weed until he found one that worked the best.

“Pot is a life saver,” said Carter. “I wish I found this stuff decades ago. Really, really good. Never cared much for alcohol but weed is the medicine I need.”

Carter also gave a special shout out to Mr. Greens Dispensary for their terrific service and wide variety of product.

Carter is now continuing with building his homes for Habitat for Humanity but only gets high after work. 

Also, new real medication seems to be advancing quickly in the fight against cancer.

  • I know all of you know this is a satire site, but what many of tou may not realize is that this specific rumor when applied to Occams Razor, the obvious most likely scenario is the most simple. I have witnessed more than one individual now cured of cancer by Cannabis. SMOKING POT WILL NOT CURE CANCER – it must be injested as an oil. In fact, the process of extracting Peanut Oil is extremely similar. Jimmy Carter is a Peanut Farmer. This means he has extensive knowledge of this process. The FACT that Cannabis is processed the same way resulting in a cure that by the way, the government has known about for far longer than anyone else as the natives introduced it to them long ago. Vatican libraries have extracted every scroll, every thing from every indiginous population they absorbed like the damn Borg in Star Trek. Natives have for ages reported the medicinal effects of cannabis. It was used in tinctures in the early 1800s late 1700s and all of our Founders who owned Plantations and Farms grew it and swore by it as a staple crop. Only in todays modern era of huge Pharmeceutical companies and the fact that they can not patent a weed making it completely worthless to them as a saleable product … In fact a great danger to their industry as Cannabis we are learning more and more, cures and prevents much more…. And I know as a FACT that a politician I spoke to – a Governor today – said he could not touch Medical Marijuana as his campaign was supported by Pharmeceutical Companies who demanded he leave that issue ALONE. By doing so for the sake of his job, he sold out allnof the people who will suffer that way and die, who could have combined had THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF LIFE COMBINED. That in my opinion makes it a crime, and one of DEMOCIDE – Death by Government without reason, purpose, and without honor.

    • Forest Clayton Sprague

      Tell that to the people who have cured themselves by smoking……I being one…….of hep C

  • valleevue

    What I find bothersome on any given night ……or day for that matter there is someone at the bar who remarking”who the hell are those potheads kidding they just wanna get f#%ken high!”. Then he himself has to be taken home Drunk.