Republican presidential nominee dismissed Oscar winner Jennifer Lawrence’s remarks about the real-estate mogul. “Isn’t her fifteen minutes of fame over yet?” asked Trump. “I thought actresses careers are done by age twenty-three. What use are they after that age?”

Facebook tracks users and friends of users wherever they go on the internet, in order to track when  users are looking at pornography sites.  Many users visit these sites at roughly the same time each day allowing Facebook to predict when a user will masturbate to within an hour.

After auction companies refused to sell George Zimmerman’s gun, he accidentally shot himself in the leg and went to the hospital where 8 pints of blood were needed. The gun was used in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin in 2012.

New technology will allow police to see through walls with perfect vision. The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) has spent $120 million to attach them to the notorious LAPD helicopters that buzz around the city on a constant basis.

The top man in professional wrestling John Cena is forming the first ever wrestling union.

American reporters picked up a link that went to a Chinese forum that was selling Hillary Clinton’s deleted e-mails for $200 million.

According to a Facebook insider, all Donald Trump stories will be valued at a lower number compared to Hillary Clinton starting June 1st.

As a wildfire continues to devastate Alberta, Canada with 100,000 being displaced, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump blamed the fire on recent Syrian refugees.

Off the coast of Somalia, villagers found the skeletal remains of an anonymous figure. The local Russian Embassy confirmed it was Osama bin Laden.

A transgender woman by the name of Alice Helmsley was killed outside of a vacant Georgia bathroom by a group of men upset with her gender identity.

Saudi Arabia, an American ally, will now allow women to drink coffee at home and in public without punishment of prison or lashes.

Lost notes were found from the deceased comedian George Carlin predicting Americans would vote for Donald Trump as President of the United States. In a desk drawer were notes written a month before his death in 2008. They contained observations about many topics but also thoughts and jokes towards the current leading Republican presidential candidate.

As California passes a bill to raises the tobacco smoking age to 21, a bill also passes lowering the age to attain a medical marijuana prescription from 18 to 14 years of age.

In a secret survey done by The Beltway Insider on how presidential candidates secure Superdelegates, it calculated it costs around $250,000 to gain a single one.

Amazon is developing a new Kindle e-reader that will be able to float for hands-free reading named the Kindle Air.

The former governor of Alaska Sarah Palin told a group of Trump supporters that “America doesn’t need a Prince, this isn’t England. What we need is Trump as President of the United States.”

In addition to moving to England to live in a castle owned by Scientology, Tom Cruise has been bestowed a new title within the religion; King.

Ten employees of a Hobby Lobby in Denver, Colorado were fired yesterday after failing a surprise drug test. David Green, the creator of the nationwide arts & crafts franchise and the man behind the test, was suspicious his workers would be tempted to smoke or ingest marijuana on the infamous date, April twentieth. 4/20 has become synonymous with getting high for reasons still not entirely known. But as the failed drug tests proved, the tradition stands strong.

Just a day after ESPN baseball analyst Curt Schilling was fired for an inappropriate meme about transgender people; Donald Trump hired him as a political, social advisor. “He speaks his mind,” said Trump.  

Spotted in a little Italian village where Kobe Bryant has a summer home, Phil Jackson made a trip to discuss the New York Knicks coaching vacancy.